Zero n' Silent
by KawaiiBlackMoon
Summary: Fatal Frame characters are stuck in the world of Silent Hill to win a trip to Disneyland! Now they're high off of soda while Sae takes pictures for blackmail! OOC to the max!
1. TortureI mean, Chapter Onecough

Disclaimer: I DO OWN PROJECT ZERO! YOU HEAR ME?!?! I DO OWN IT! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAH-[gets hit my a random shoe] OW! x-X

KBM: T-T Damn you Japanese Lawyers!

Japanese Lawyers (JL): Just doing our job...fufufufufufufufufu...

KBM: [murmurs] Damn bastards...

JL: And the other half of your disclaimer?

KBM: What other half? [whistles "innocently"]

JL: ...[gets out another shoe]

KBM: O-O Oh shit! I do not own Silent Hill 2 either!

JL: Good...

KBM: But that doesn't mean I can't make ppl hella OOC...MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

JL: ...

* * *

**Torture-I mean, Chapter 1 [cough]**

****

****

KBM: Welcome to the happiest and most joyful town in the world, SILENT HILL!

[The town of Silent Hill is shown, which is filled with thick ass fogs and few dead bodies of slashed people in a pool of blood]

KBM: I am your host, KawaiiBlackMoon! Or KBM for short! And this is the Screwed Version of Jacked Up Survivor 2 With the Limited Info Of the Actual Show Which I Never Watched! The first one is now deleted for...err...some reasons...I lost interest is all you need to know...anyways, here are the victims-I mean, players of this game! The main characters of Fatal Frame and Fatal Frame 2: Crimson Butterfly!

Mayu: ...I really don't like this place...

Mio: I don't know what's worst, Silent Hill or Minakami Village...=.=

Kirie: I'm so scared love! [clinging to Mafuyu's leg]

Mafuyu: You're a friggin' ghost! You scare the crap out of people for living and you're scared of some misty town? And get the hell off my leg! [tries to shake Kirie off]

Miku: I hope Kirie won't end up being my sister-in-law...Kirie's creepy...=.=

Yae: Not as creepy as my sister...she laughs like she's high on something only God knows what

Sae: [Insert her crazy laugh...thing]

Mutsuki: No bloody mist this time....-.-;

Mio: o.O; You're not a main character...or a main ghost...and same goes for you [points to Yae]

Mayu: Hey, at least we're all women here except that old man-

Ryozo: I'm not an old man!

Mayu: -and Itsuki

Mafuyu and Mutsuki: WE'RE NOT A GIRL!

Mayu: o.O Really? Funny...I thought you were and I'm still not convinced you are actually males...are you SURE you're not women? =.=;

Mafuyu and Mutsuki: ...

Kirie: How about they strip in front of us? That way we'll know if they ARE men!

Mafuyu: =.= You just want to see me strip and take a picture of me naked for blackmail and your personal enjoyment...

Kirie: That's sooooooooooooo not true! [hides her camera]

Chitose: [tries to run away]

KBM: [ties her to a tree with a rope that magically appeared] Sorry! But you can't run away! Not after you hear my ever-so-wonderfully-written-introduction-of-pure-and-utter-joy-of-this-fabulous-show-of-happiness!

Chitose: ITSUKI!! HELP ME!

Itsuki: Err...[sees KBM holding a knife] O.O; sees [KBM licking the knife] What was that? I swear I heard something...heheheh...[walks away from Chitose]

KBM: Anyways, here are the rules...

Everyone: ...

KBM: .........

Everyone: Aren't you going to tell us the rules?

KBM: Err...there are no rules...

Everyone: o.O;;

KBM: ;-;

Miku: What kind of sad excuse of a show is this?

KBM: [gasp] No one was supposed to know that! O.O How did you know this was a sad excuse for a show?

Everyone: ...

KBM: Well, if you win, you get a stuffed cow

Mio: What are we gonna do with a stuffed cow? O.o;

Ryozo: She's right...I'm dead so I don't really NEED anything...which reminds me, how the hell did we get here anyway? I don't remember subscribing to this show thing...

Chitose: I want a stuffed cow!

KBM: You also win a trip to Disneyland, the happiest place in the universe!

Sae: I thought that was Disney _World_...=.=

Yae: How cheap...Disneyland is only few hours from where you live anyway...

KBM: O.O FEW HOURS?!?! IT TAKES 8 FUCKING HOURS! That's NOT few hours!

Kirie: If you're dead, time has no meaning

Miku: Hey! I'm still alive here!!

KBM: Speaking of dead people, I made all of you points to dead ppl alive with my authoress powers!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! So now you have to breathe, eat, drink, pee, and shit to stay alive!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Everyone: .........

Sae: Oh jumping jackrabbits! That means I'm gonna have periods again!

Kirie: Damn! And I was sooooooo happy about it too...

Chitose: I don't care! I'm too young have periods and cramps...muwahahahaha!!

Yae: =.=

KBM: I don't have to suffer cramps alone anymore! Wheeeee!

Kirie: Heheheh...so does that mean I can rape Mafuyu and get pregnant with his child? [insert insane smile]

Mafuyu: O.O

Miku: Oh dear lord....-.-;

KBM: Err...yea...

Kirie: Yessssssss! [in a "manly" voice] Come here Mafuyu dear...

Mafuyu: O.O Dear Father who art in heaven! AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! [runs away]

KBM: You can also get STDs from it

Kirie: Damn!

Mafuyu: [sighs] Whew......wait a minute...I don't have STDs! I'm still a virgin!

Everyone: O.O

Itsuki: That's not something to be proud of...especially in your age...

Miku: I tell him to get himself a girlfriend and get laid but nooooooooooo...=.=

Kirie: Muwahahahaha!! I'm going to be your FIRST!

Mutsuki: Funny...I always thought Mafuyu was the type of person who'd work at gay bars...or a gay strip joint or something like that...

Mio: O.O;

Mafuyu: I did NOT work at a gay bar or a strip joint!

Miku: Don't kid yourself dear brother. Remember that one time when you-[mouth is covered by Mafuyu] UUuUuuUufffff! [glares]

Mafuyu: [whispers to Miku] IF you don't keep your mouth shut dear imooto-chan, your secret stash of SoraXRiku Kingdom Hearts yaoi doujinshis will meet an unfortunate end...[holds up a lighter]

Miku: [gasp] O.O; ulliwood! (translation: I'll be good)

Mafuyu: Good...[let go of Miku]

Miku: T-T

Ryozo: There's something really WRONG with those siblings...=.=;;

Kirie: That's why I love Mafuyu so much!

Sae: I thought Mafuyu was supposed to be nice...o.O

Yae: So were he [points to Itsuki] =.=

Itsuki: [robbing the dead body on the ground] Hey cool! A diamond ring! [holds up a bloody diamond ring] I can sell it off in ebay! Muwahahahaha...I can finally get that Hajime Saito Katana I've been saving my money for....heheheheh...

Sae: o.O;

Mayu: [sigh]

KBM: Anyways, the show goes like this, okay? You have to search the town, as in this town, to find some clues in random places, you follow me? Okay. The clues, which you found, will tell you to go to some places, okay? Good. You try to find enough clues or such to go to this one place, okay? Which I'll be waiting you people, follow me? And win your prize okay? And you have to find your own food and such, got that? And once a day or so, there'll be special guests from somewhere to give you some presents from the reviewers, okay? If they love you enough to give you something' kapeesh?

Everyone: ...what? O.o;

KBM: =.= Find clues to find the place where I am so you can get the hell out of this hell hole of a town you dumb ass! [disappears]

Itsuki: ...now what?

Mutsuki: how the hell am I supposed to know?

Mio: But why are we in Silent Hill 2? Not Silent Hill 1 or 3...or even the 4th one?

Yae: Who knows...

Sae: O.O Sister!

Yae: Huh?

Sae: You're finally here! I missed you so much! Where have you been all these years?

Yae: Err...heheheheheh...[murmurs] Damn! I was hoping she wouldn't notice me...

Ryozo: trying to walk away

Itsuki: =.= How's it goin' Munakata?

Ryozo: O.O Itsuki? Is that you?

Itsuki: No shit Sherlock. Just because I have white hair like some random old man-

Sae: [cough]woman[cough]

Itsuki: -doesn't mean I'm not Itsuki...or am I? O.o; I'm confusing myself...

Ryozo: ...

Mutsuki: Haven't seen you in a while...what you up to?

Ryozo: Well-

Sae: O.O YOU WHAT?!?!

Yae: Heheheh...

Sae: While Itsuki and I fucking hanged ourselves in misery and pain, after I was thrown down to that fucking Hellish Abyss and climbed out of that DEEP ASS PERFECTLY SQUARE HOLE and killed everyone with the Kusabi while waiting for your sorry ass, you got laid with MUNAKATA?!?!?!?! And on top of that, you had a child and you killed yourself? I waited for you for nothing?!?! HOW COULD YOU!?!?!?!

Yae: I lost my memory! I couldn't help it!

Sae: Couldn't HELP it? It was me who slipped and fell down that fucking cliff! I SCREAMED my little lungs out for PETE'S SAKE! Are you deaf?!?! What did you do? Run into a stupid tree?

Yae: Well...

**[Flashback]**

Yae: [skipping] Tralalala I'm OUT of this town! I can't wait to go to Hollywood and become an award winning movie star! [does a model pose] Hey Sae? [turns back to see Sae]

Sae: [waaaaaaaaay down the cliff] $%&%&$)&)!! Someone help me damn it!!!

Yae: ......Sae? Oh well...[skips along with a dead flower in her hair] Tralalalalalalalalalalal-[runs into a tree] OoOooooo...shiny stars.... Aww...I need to pee....aaahhh...never mind... It feels warm....

**[Flashback ends]**

Yae: ...err...I didn't run into a tree....

Sae: It's time for you to DIE a second DEATH! [Insert her crazy laugh and her Bloody Mist thing]

Everyone: [gasp] O.O

Mio: Oh fiddlesticks! Not that fucking mist again! That shit smell like my grandma...

Mayu: o.O;;

Sae's Bloody Mist: [mixes with the fog]

Itsuki: o.O It's turning pink!

Mutsuki: What the fuck?

Mafuyu: PINK-err...I mean, ew

Miku: =.=

Sae: Damn it! My mist is turning pink because of this damn white fog!

Kirie: [sniffs] Oh shit, that crap smells just like a road kill!

Chitose: It smells like Mutsuki and Itsuki's room...x.X

Itsuki and Mutsuki: =.= Shut it imooto-chan

Chitose: But it's true!

Mio: I have to agree on that...

Ryozo: Hmm? [sees a piece of paper on the ground] Hey! I found a map to Silent Hill!

Itsuki: o.O

Mafuyu: Good! Now we can take shelter or something!

KBM: [pops out of nowhere] Hiya!

Yae: O.o; What are you doing here?

Miku: Yea...I thought you left

KBM: Well...I came back so I could do this! [glomps Mutsuki]

Mutsuki: OO;;;

KBM: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN GIRL EVER!! [shakes his hands like crazy]

Mutsuki: O.O...I have a fan girl?

Itsuki: Wow...that's amazing...O.O

Mio: True...since Masumi or whatever his name was dead ugly and being slashed to death didn't really help jack squat and you were the only thing-

Itsuki: Thing? -.-#

Mio: -closest to a "man," you became hella popular. It's all because of your white hair as well. Since so many fan girls LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE white haired bishonen

Miku: Like Riku from Kingdom Hearts

Mayu: Sephy! [starry eyes]

Mafuyu: Muraki from Yami No Matsuei! HOTNESS!

Everyone else: o.O;;; WTF?

Mio: Isn't that show shonen ai hinted? o.O;

Mayu: That's Hana to Yume for you...

Mafuyu: Err...I mean...Aeris from Final Fantasy 7 is hot? [nervous sweat drops]

Kirie: She looked like she got a boob job in Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children...

Yae: Why didn't _I_ get a boob job in Fatal Frame 2? -.-

Ryozo: Yea! Why didn't she? [murmurs] She seriously needed some...=.=

Mio: Anyways, as I were saying, without your white hair, you're butt ugly!

Itsuki: That's not true!

Mutsuki: Yea! That's not true! He may be fatter than me, but that doesn't mean he's ugly!

Itsuki: You're not helping onii-sama....=.=

Ryozo: Onii-_sama_? That's gonna boost all those twincest fan girls' twisted minds...

Random Twincest Fangirls: [squeals]

Chitose: o.O;

KBM: [still "handshaking" Mutsuki]

Mutsuki: I can't feel my arms no more...T-T [looking at KBM's hands] O.O What's that brown stuff stuck on your finger nails?

KBM: [lets go of Mutsuki's hands]

Mutsuki: My arrrrrrrms...freedom!!

KBM: [Looking at her fingernails] [sniff] Hmm...[sucking on her finger along with the brown stuff]

Everyone: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww

KBM: It taste like blood...-.- Funny...it doesn't taste like my blood and it's too brown to be my blood since my blood's bright red...and I can't remember where I got it from...[disappears again]

Everyone: O.O;

Yae: What the hell is WRONG with that CHILD?

Sae: =.= At least I know where the blood on my kimono came from...

Chitose: I'm hungry!

Miku: I'm hungry too

Mayu: I'm also hungry, too, dears

Chitose and Miku: Why are you calling us "dears" =.=;

Mayu: Because the two of you are just so CUTE together!

Chitose and Miku: [gasp] Yuri lover! O.O

Mayu: Actually, I'm more into yaoi...yummy...

Mio: O.O Stay the fuck AWAY from meh! [runs away and hides behind Yae]

Sae: What's wrong with yuri? I like it

Mayu: Yea! What's wrong with it?

Itsuki and Mutsuki and Ryozo: Nothing's wrong with wonderful yuri! [big ass smiles]

Females: Men...

Kirie: Speaking of "men" [looks at Mafuyu] How about you honey chunks?

Miku: Honey chunks? WTF?

Mafuyu: Huh? [was reading a ItsukixMutsuki doujinshi]

Itsuki and Mutsuki: O.O [walking slowly away from Mafuyu] Oh my GOD...Where the hell did you get that...that...THING from?

Mafuyu: Why do _you_ wanna know? [winks]

Mutsuki: Aaaaaaaah! Some gay fruit winked at meh!

Itsuki: Someone gauge out my poor eyes!! X.X

Miku: =.= Try living with him...I don't know WHY I even put up with all this...

Ryozo: He brings home the bling bling sista

Yae: That's fo' sho' my bradda!

Kirie: o.O; What are _you_ people _on_?

Miku: True...I guess that's the only reason...and also free doujinshis which my brother "happily" pays for...heheheheheh...

Sae: true that

Mio: What the hell is WRONG with you people?!?!

Mutsuki: Hey, you're gonna crack too sooner or later...=.=

Ryozo: Anyway, where should we go? The map says we're at a Flower Shop on Sanders Street

Chitose: The map "says"? I never knew maps can talk...o.O

Mio: They don't...unless you watch Dora the Explorer

Ryozo and Yae: [sings] Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Dora, Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Dora, Dora the Explorer!

Mafuyu: Oh wow...even I don't watch that gay ass mother fucking show and here we have, my ancestors, singing the damn theme song...

Miku: True that

Itsuki: True that...wait a sec, I'm not related to you people! Forget what I said

Ryozo: As I were saying until I was "rudely" interrupted, where shall we go?

Sae: Well, in Silent Hill 2, James the Ugly Wife Killer From the Sewage went to the Vachss Road to get a Wooden Plank and a Radio

Miku: Rajiotaiso!

Mayu: Don't even mention that WORD!

Mio: Yea! [hissss]

Mafuyu: Every FUCKING day at school...you have to do that crap...thank GOD I graduated

Miku: Agreed

Mio and Mayu: We still go to school...T-T

Yae: I say we just go get those items...who knows, maybe we can sell it

Itsuki: Yayness!

Mutsuki: Itsuki...what the hell did you eat this morning because I think there was something WRONG with it...

Itsuki: I was dead this morning

Mutsuki: Okay...what did you eat when you were still alive?

Itsuki: Hmm...I can't remember...

Chitose: I remember what you ate...you ate Yae and Sae's, the late Kiryu twin's AND my Hinaningyo dolls out of depression of killing your own flesh and blood!

Mutsuki: o.O;

Itsuki: Oh yea...

Mutsuki: Why am I sane in this fic? In almost all the other fics I'm in, I'm insane, do drugs and talk like a gay mofo slash a South African

Kirie: The authoress likes you...maybe that's why?

Mutsuki: Then why am I here suffering? Wouldn't she want me to be happy?

KBM's Voice Out Of Nowhere: I LIKE MY MEN TO SUFFER THANK YOU VERY MUCH! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Chitose: Itsuki! I'm scared! T-T

Mutsuki: So in other words, she's gonna make me suffer by forcing me to stay sane even if everyone else does not...great...

**[Vachss Road]**

Kirie: What's all that fucking noise?

Ryozo: Hmm...

Mio: It sounds like there's some monster near us or something...

Sae: It must be the Radio that's making all this noise...

Chitose: So annoying...

Itsuki: You nagging all the time is more annoying Chitose...

Chitose: ;-; meanie

Mafuyu: It's coming from the barricade...who wants to go in there and check?

Everyone: You

Mafuyu: o.O WHAT?! I ain't going in there you fools!

Kirie: Save us my love! [starry eyes]

Miku: Be a man bro!

Yae: You suggested it

Mafuyu: But what about you people?!?! [points to Ryozo and Tachibana twins]

Ryozo: I have a poor back and I'm not as young as you

Itsuki: And we're still teens

Mutsuki: You're not cowardly enough to send children in there...would you?

Mafuyu: Actually, I would [kicks Itsuki into the barricade]

Chitose: Oh my God! You killed Itsuki! O.O

Mutsuki: You bastard!

Sae: Wrong show people...=.=

Kirie: I love my men cowardly and weak! That way, I can be on the TOP!

Miku: ...AAAAAAAAAAAH!! MENTAL IMAGE!! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY MIND!

Mutsuki: [sniff] My poor otooto-chan...died of young age...again [sniff]

Chitose: T-T Onii-chan!!

Sae: Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong again? T-T

Itsuki: [from the barricade] I'm still alive people! [Final Fantasy X battle music starts out of nowhere in the background] What in the mooing cows is that? O.o;;

Patient Demon: Grrrrrrr...hisss...hey, you're cute! Come here and let me grab your cute lil' ass!

Itsuki: O.O OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!! [grabs the wooden plank on the ground] GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERT! AAAAAAAHH!! [beats the living day lights off of the monster repeatedly] Ayeeeeeeeeeeeee! Onii-sama! Help me! [rocking back and forth in a corner]

Monster: [dead and barely recognizable]

Mutsuki: Err...

Miku: Forcing a child to do such a thing...tsk tsk tsk...shame on you brother!

Mafuyu: You want free doujinshis or not? =.=

**[3 Hours later after "calming" Itsuki down]**

Ryozo: Well, thank GOD that's over with...

Itsuki: depressed

Mutsuki: [pats Itsuki] -.-;

Chitose: [hugging Itsuki]

Kirie: We don't know where the hell we're supposed to go since the only person who knows about this game is...mentally challenged-

Sae: [Insert her...err...yea...]

Everyone else: [covering their ears] Make her STOP! My poor ear drums!

Kirie: I say we go to Saul Street since I like the sound of Saul...

Mio: That's a gay reason but what the hell

Mayu: =.= My knee huts...

Yae: Huts? You means hurts right?

Mayu: Same difference!

**[Lindsey Street]**

Patient Demons: Hissssssssssssss

Itsuki: Noooo! There's more of those crap!

Patient Demon (PD) 1: Dude, you're hurting our feelings

PD2: Yeah...we may be monsters from the deepest depth of hell but we have feelings too you know! [sniff]

PD3: It's always the same! They judge us from our looks, not our inner selves!

PD1: Preach it brother!

PD4: We love trees, we love the birds and fellow animal creatures! We mean no violence!

PD3: Yes, indeed

PD2: All we want are some friends who's willing to go to the Lovely Hippy Convention with us at the Rosewater Park!

PD5: Yes, that is the tru-hey...where did they go?

Fatal Frame PPL: running for their lives

PD1: Sweet dancing dung beetles! They left us!

PD4: Just like James...[sad]

PD2: Let us follow our fellow brothers and sisters and save their polluted minds and renew their souls with the ever-so-wonderful mother nature and all it's sweet glory!

PD3: Like, peace with that dude

PD5: It's a mission!

[all the Patient Demons hums the Mission Impossible theme song while attempting to act like some spies or secret agents]

* * *

Random Announcer Guy (RAG): Will Itsuki be saved from the perverted monsters? Will Mafuyu ever be a man? Are our heroes safe from all these madness? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ba-[gets hit by KBM's One Piece plushie]

KBM: Go away you motha fucking gay lord!

RAG: [sniff] But it's my job...

KBM: ...[clicks a button]

Falling Woman: [falls on RAG] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

RAG: x.X

KBM: Heheheh...RAG...rag? Mind as well call you a hobo! Anyways, please review! Gifts for the Fatal Frame characters are welcome! Like, a tutu for Mafuyu, a condom for Sae or even a bottle cap or half a sock is welcome! But only one gift per character please! And no flames please! Well...I think I'm gonna get at least more than one since I bashed just about everyone here...sort of...here's a little teaser on what's going to happen next chapter!

**[Preview...sort of...-.-;;]**

Yae: What's going-oh my GOD! OO MY VIRGIN EYES! MY POOR VIRGIN EYES! [runs around screaming bloody murder]

_What happened to Yae? What did she see?_

Sae: Err...Chitose, are you okay?

Chitose: O.O

_Is Chitose really okay?_

Sae: [dreamy sigh] They're so cute together!

_What IS Sae talking about?_

Itsuki: O.O Oh...my...GOD! You raped me! You fucking raped me didn't you?!?!?!?!

_What in fucking hell?_

Mutsuki: [rolled into a little ball] [rocking back and forth in a dark corner] This is a lie....this is a lie...a nightmare...[mumbles incoherent stuff]

_Has Mutsuki gone mad? Why is he in denial of reality?_

Tachibana Twins: ......

Sae: Heheheheheheh...

_Find out on the next chapter!_

KBM: Remember to send some gift to the characters! That's where I get some of the ideas for the ficcei anyway...and make it interesting gifties please! Love you all!

RAG: No you don't

KBM: ...fine...I love you all who actually LAUGHED at this fic and reviewed!

RAG: Good...muwahahahahahahah [gets hit by a giant cow plushy] OW!

KBM: Fufufufufufufufufu...


	2. What’s the Title? We Don’t Have One Beca...

Disclaimer: I refuse to say it…

JL: Say it

KBM: No! It hurts me too much! breaks down and sobs

JL: …gay mofo…

KBM: I am NOT a gay MOFO! You're the one who made that dude won when they had a trial about keeping the original character designs for Weiss Kreuz Gluhen! Omi looks like a DOG now, Aya's pimpin', Ken's just freaky and looks like he came from Prince of Tennis, Nagi looks…OMG…horrible image haunting my poor mind…

JL: At least we made hella money off of it!

KBM: I do not own anything…(murmurs) Money hungry leeches…

* * *

Chapter 2: What's the Title? We Don't Have One Because I'm Too Lazy To Think Of One!

Saul Street

Kirie: (out of breath) I (huff) never got so (huff) scared in all my (huff) afterlife (huff)

Miku: (perfectly normal) Heheheh…running away from all those perverted yakuza gang members finally pays off!

Mafuyu: o.O;

Mayu: (barely made it) x.x

Mio: …(sigh) what now?

Sae: You didn't leave me this time!! (hugs Yae)

Yae: Well, since there wasn't any cliff, I couldn't have left you even if I wanted to…-.-

Chitose: Hey! There's a trailer!

Itsuki: O.O Wow…that person must be dead poor to be living in there…

Mutsuki: Let's go inside and check it out! Who wants to go in there?

Everyone besides Mafuyu: Mafuyu

Mafuyu: Why me again?

Itsuki: Because you fucking kicked me into that hellhole with some perverted monster shit inside!

Mafuyu: (grumbles) (goes inside)

Itsuki: There better be some monsters inside there…

Kirie: Go and show us your manly side my dear sugar lumpies!

Miku: o.O What the hell is wrong with you? Those pet names are…so weird….

Mafuyu: (comes out) I found a note that said someone is waiting for us at the Neely's Bar

Kirie: A bar?

Ryozo: Ahh…I love bars…(thinks about his "good times")

Yae: And I used to drag you home…all the time…-.-;

Ryozo: Aww…you just ruined my moment!

Sae: I don't wanna know…-.-;

Miku: Is she even old enough to go to a bar? (points to Chitose)

Mutsuki: I think it's okay…because she may look young but she's actually older than you

Miku: o.O;

Kirie: Come to think about it…time line wise, you're the youngest one here Miku

Mafuyu: And that means I'm the second youngest…-.-

Kirie: I like my men young!

Mio: Eeww! You have a lolita complex or something?

Mayu: Hey! I think that's kinda cute!

Mio: One word out of you onee-chan and I'll disown you…-.-

Mayu: o.O;

Sae: On to the bar! Maybe they'll have some osake…

Mutsuki: Osake…I haven't had sake in a LONG time…

Itsuki: Remember? We used to get drunk all the time

Chitose: No wonder your room smelt like something died in there!

Mutsuki: (ignores Chitose) Yea…good times…

Flashback

Mutsuki: This is the shit man! (drinks a bottle of sake)

Itsuki: I hope Chitose won't walk in on us and ask for some too…

Mutsuki: Whatever (hic)…she's old enough to drink…how old (hic) is she again?

Itsuki: Err…I forgot (giggles) (KBM: he is obviously drunk…)

Mutsuki: (hic) Good ass stuff…I wish Munakata was here…I always thought his name was Munataka…not Munakata…

Itsuki: What a gay ass with a confusing name…ahahaha

Mutsuki: Don't say that! My name is for girls! He has it better than me…;.;

Itsuki: And mine is for both genders…hahahahahaha…

Mutsuki: Ah shit…I need to pee…(goes over to the place where Itsuki's yutaka is hung…or was it yukata? O.o) bathroom…(pees) aaaahhh…(hic)

Itsuki: (giggles) I always thought Yae and Sae were guys…I mean (hic) they're so fucking FLAT! Even Chitose has more boobs than both of them combined!

Mutsuki: So true…this village has the (hic) ugliest people I swear…just the other day, some random villager thought I was a girl and tried to hit on me (hic)…

Itsuki: Hahahahahahah…that's funny! Because every time I wake up in the middle of the night and see your face, I always mistake you for a girl and I wonder if I got so drunk, I screwed with Chitose or something…

Tachibana Twins: Hahahahahahahahahaha

Mutsuki: Ahahah…say something like that and I'll kill you instead of you killing me in the ceremony

Tachibana Twins: Ahahahahahahahahaahahah

Mutsuki: I'm fucking serious (hic)

Itsuki: o.O;

5 Hours later

Itsuki: The room's starting to smell funky…

Mutsuki: I'm sleepy (drops dead)

Itsuki: Hey…don't go dead on me bro! (shakes Mutsuki) Aww…my drinking buddy… (falls asleep on top of Mutsuki)

Chitose: (comes into the room) Itsuki! Mutsuki! Lookie! I got a new kimono! (looks at her brothers) OH MY GOD! O.O

30 minutes later

Sae: (Comes into the room with Yae) Hey guys. What's (looking at the two brothers) …up?

Yae: What's going-oh my GOD! O.O MY VIRGIN EYES! MY POOR VIRGIN EYES! (runs around screaming bloody murder)

Sae: (notices Chitose just standing there)

Chitose: O.O

Sae: Err…Chitose, are you okay?

Chitose: O.O

Sae: (shakes Chitose)

Chitose: (falls to the ground) O.O

Sae: Poor child…she fainted…(looks at Yae)

Yae: (foam coming out of her mouth) I fell in love with a gay guy in a incest relationship with his twin brother! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

Sae: …(looking at the brothers again) They look kinda…cute together…

Yae: (banging her head repeatedly on the wall)

Sae: (dreamy sigh) They're so cute together! (KBM: Thus the beginning of her twisted mind…)

Yae: (faints)

Sae: Hmm…(gets an evil idea) (takes off the Alter Twin's clothes) (drags Yae and Chitose away) Heheheheheheh…

The next day

Mutsuki: (wakes up) My head…Something's heavy…(looking at his naked brother on top of him) AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! (shoves him away) (notice that he's naked too) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Itsuki: (wakes up) What's all that noise? And why is it so cold? (looking at his naked brother) Get some clothes on bro…(noticing his nakedness) O.O Oh…my…GOD! You raped me! You fucking raped me didn't you?!?!?!?!

Mutsuki: WHAT? It was YOU who raped ME! You were on top of me!

Itsuki: NOOOOOOOOO!! This cannot be! T-T

Mutsuki: (rolled into a little ball) (rocking back and forth in a dark corner) This is a lie….this is a lie…a nightmare…(mumbles incoherent stuff)

Itsuki: I raped someone…I raped a guy…I raped my male brother…I raped my male TWIN brother…what am I supposed to do now? What am I going to do with my life? What will happen to me? Will any girl like me? Will ANYONE like me? What of our parents? I shamed my ancestors…what will my imooto think of me? Will Chitose despise me? Will I get a decent job? Am I gay? What about the ceremony? Is it okay for us to be tainted? I thought the sacrifices must be virgins…that mean Yae and Sae will have to perform it…Sae's gonna die because I raped Mutsuki…I raped Mutsuki…(goes on and on)

Sae: (watching everything from a little hole on the door) Heheheheh…

Chitose: (comes up behind Sae) What are you doing?

Sae: Err…eheheheheh….heh…

End flashback

Tachibana Twins: ……

Sae: Heheheheheheh…

Chitose: -.-;

Yae: (has forced herself to erase the shameful memory long time ago) ? (now cannot remember anything for shit)

Itsuki: Err…I think we should go to the bar now…(nervous laugh) hahahahaha…

Mutsuki: Yea…(nervous laugh) hahahahaha…

Neely's Bar

Mio: Wow…I never came into a bar before

Mayu: That's because we were under age

Ryozo: Aren't you STILL underage? o.O;

Kirie: Well, there must be something he-(trips on a beer bottle) aw! (her hair is covering her face)

Everyone else: (gasp!) Oh my sweet underpants!

Mayu: It's Box in Woman!

Chitose: You mean Woman in Box? -.-;

Mayu: Same shit!

Kirie: I'm not Woman in Box you dolts! (walks up to them with her hair still covering her face)

Ryozo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! It came from planet Gulashmewahlopulakawaka to skin us alive and make a boat out of our skins, make toothpicks out of out fragile little bones and feed our guts to rabid monkeys with wings from the Land of Oz, which is ruled by a fat bus driver!

Itsuki: Here (shoves Yae into Kirie) a virgin sacrifice!

Mutsuki: She ain't no virgin you fool! (shoves Mio)

Yae and Mio: -.-#

Kirie: …(ties her hair with a random rubber band she found on the ground) Happy now?

Everyone else: Yes mom

Kirie: (twitch) Mom?!?!?!

Mafuyu: Hey cool! A map! I found a map! Whoo hoo!

Miku: Wow! You've actually done something useful! -.-;

Sae: About time he did something useful…-.-;

Chitose: (examining the window) (reads) There was a HOLE here. It's gone now.

Sae: Hole? What hole? A well maybe?

Miku: (shudders)

Mayu: Maybe a XXX's XXXXXXX in the middle of XXX at a XXX XXX with X other XXX? (KBM: I'll leave that to your imagination…heheheh)

Mio: O.O

Chitose: My virgin ears!! (covers her ears while singing Genki Ondo) (KBM: (receives weird looks from ppl who actually knows the song) What? I like that song! Although it sounds like something from the 50's…)

Sae: Nice! (high fives Mayu)

Mio and Yae: You two are just SICK and WRONG!

Sae and Mayu: (double the insane laugh)

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! MY POOR EARS!!

Window: (shatters)

Kirie: Let's make a run for it! (runs away)

Sae and Mayu: Hey! Don't leave me again! (follows them)

20 minutes after the wild goose chase

Everyone: (out of breath and on the ground begging for water)

Yae: I haven't been THIS out of breath since Ryozo and I-(mouth is covered by Ryozo)

Ryozo: There are children around!

Mafuyu: o.O

Chitose: Where are we?

Sae: Lost -.-

Miku: Hmm…the shop over there says…Happy Burger? What the hell's kind of name's that?

Itsuki: And there's Neely's Bar!

Mio: So we just ran in circles?

Mutsuki: Appears so…-.-;

Mayu: My knee hurts…T-T

Mafuyu: (not listening) Well, the map indicates that we should go to the north end of the Martin Street…

Kirie: I shall follow you everywhere! (has little heart shaped eyes)

Mafuyu: Err…(scoots away)

North End of the Martin Street

Miku: O.O There's another monster!

Patient Demon: Grrr…(sprays brown stuff)

Kirie: Ewww! That's nasty!

Mutsuki: (gets hit) Ah! I'm it! (falls down) go on…without me (faints)

Itsuki: Stop being such a drama queen! (kicks Mutsuki)

Mutsuki: Aw! Hey, that hurts you know!

Itsuki: That was the whole point…heheheh…

Mio: Hurry! Do something! (shoves Mafuyu)

Mafuyu: Why is it always me?

Miku: You're a man! Duh!

Mafuyu: What about that old man? (points to Ryozo)

Mayu: He's a senile old man! What can _he_ do?

Ryozo: I am _not_ a senile old man!

Sae: Yea…whatever gramps!

Ryozo: We're the _same_ age! That makes _you_ a senile _old woman_! Well…sort of…

Sae: (gasp) You just went too far there (takes out a whip)

Ryozo: O.O

Yae: (sigh) okay, break it up, break it up! (stands between Sae and Ryozo)

Chitose: …(spots a garbage can lid on the ground) (throws it at the monster)

Patient Demon: (now cut in half by the…garbage can…lid…)

Everyone: O.O

Itsuki: I…never knew…you could…wow…O.O

Mutsuki: (sniffing at the brown stuff the monster sprayed him with) Smells like something familiar…(licks the brown stuff)

Everyone else: (backs away) MUTSUKI! WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!

Mutsuki: Taste just like…hot chocolate? O.o;

Everyone else: o.O;;

Chitose: I want some! (trying to go near Mutsuki) (gets grabbed by Itsuki)

Itsuki: There will be no, I repeat, no incest in this family, you hear?

Chitose: What's incest? O.o;

Everyone who know what incest is: …err…

Itsuki: Look! A dead body! (runs over to the dead body to look for something to sell)

Mutsuki: Anybody got a towel?

Towelie from South Park: Anybody wanna get high?

Kirie: Enough with the South Park! (kicks Towelie off the face of the Earth)

Sae: Aww…the poor dear…

Mayu: Good thing he wasn't good looking, otherwise I would've cried…

Sae: True…

Itsuki: Hmm…(still searching the dead body) What a hobo! He don't have anything that's worth anything! All he has are a piece of lint, half a toilet paper, an empty glue bottle and a key to some apartment…apartment? Maybe he have some valuables there…LET'S GO TO WOOD SIDE APARTMENTS! That Hajime Saito replica katana doesn't buy on it's own you know! (walks away)

Mutsuki: …(sigh) (follows)

Everyone else: (follows)

Sae: Why the hell does he want a sword?

Mio: Probably to rob some poor grannies off the street?

Yae: Wouldn't he want a gun like a M870 Shotgun?

Kirie: Who knows…

Chitose: I still don't know what incest is!

Wood Side Apartments

Itsuki: (used the keys to open the gates)

Everyone: (goes in)

The gate: (closes on it's own)

Chitose: O.O (clings to Mutsuki)

Mutsuki: …(sigh) (pats Chitose)

Kirie: Hmm…what's this? (reads something on the wall written in red ink) Beware of the stupid authoress and do not give her any blueberry muffins, otherwise she WILL go into a bloody rampage. Do not mention the name of the evil 4Kids Entertainment or the man who goes by the name of Eric Stuart? (thunder crashes at the background) o.O;

Miku: There's some other writings here! (reads) BEWARE OF PERVERTED NURSE DEMONS! And I hate you all! Do NOT order pizza! (turns around) It looks like somebody else was here…

Mio: Which means we're not the only ones being tortured?

Mayu: Maybe there's some stuff inside the apartment!

Mafuyu: Maybe someone who can actually help us get out of here!

Yae: That's great!

Sae: I can FINALLY get out of here and go to that Yaoi Convention in San Francisco!

Mayu: YEA!

Mafuyu: Whoot!

Miku, Mio and Yae: …

Mafuyu: Err…I thought you meant YURI convention? (nervous laugh) Heheheheh…

Miku: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure…

(Inside the Woodside Apartments)

Ryozo: It's too dark in here…

Yae: I'm so scared dear (hugs Ryozo)

Ryozo: It's okay dear, I'll protect you even if I have to sacrifice myself to the devil himself

Yae: You're so sweet honey bunny

Mutsuki: Get a room! -.-

Miku: Yea! There are children around! Err…well, more like a child but…you know what I mean!

????: Hi everyone!

????: (grumbles) why am I carrying this shit?

Everyone else: o.O; Who are you people?

????: My name is Harada Riku, from the anime D.N.Angel

????: And I'm Harada Risa, the younger and cuter twin

Riku: Sure…-.-;

Miku: Did you say Riku?!?!

Riku: Err…yes…

Miku: (goes into a rampage) HOW DARE YOU USE RIKU'S NAME?!?! ARRRRRRRRRRRRG!!! (attacks Riku)

Risa: …

Mafuyu: And the obsessive Riku fan girl strikes again…

Itsuki: o.O Is she always like this?

Mafuyu: This is nothing…you should've seen the Riku cosplayer from the last convention we went to…the poor guy…Miku broke his left arm, both of his legs, 3 ribs, 6 fingers, 1 toe, and she also gauged out the cosplayer's eyes saying "Become a Mourner and mourn for Riku who has to suffer for having the ugliest cosplayers on the face of this pitiful Earth!" (KBM: That's something I would do…heheheh…)

Mutsuki: O.O;;

Chitose: Didn't she get arrested for that?

Mafuyu: The police there was a Riku fan as well so she helped Miku and I when we were trying to dispose what's left of the cosplayer

Sae: That's something I would do

Mio: o.O (walks away from Sae)

Risa: Err…anyways, we're here to give you guys some presents from the reviewers!

Riku: (half dead) (twitching on the ground)

Miku: insert Sae's laugh

Sae: She took my laugh!! DIE!! (attacks Miku)

Miku: Huh? O.o gets attacked by Sae

Risa: Err…anyways…Miku gets a new outfit from White Mage 12! (holds up a bag of clothes)

Mafuyu: I'll hold onto that for her…(takes the bag from Risa)

Yae: Are you trying to save that little bag of clothes for your greedy little self? -.-;

Kirie: He would never do such horrid thing!

Yae: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure…

Mafuyu: -.-;

Risa: And also from White Mage 12, Mayu gets a lunch box! (gives Mayu a lunch box)

Mayu: A lunch box? (opens the lunch box) there's nothing in it? What good is a lunch box when there are no food in it?

Mio: This (throws the lunch box at Sae)

Sae: x.X

Miku: (crawls away from Sae due to her exhaustion) Crazy bitch…

Risa: Well, that's all the presents we got for you!

Itsuki: …that's it?

Risa: Yup

Itsuki: No one sent me ANYTHING?

Risa: Well…oh yea…there's this one small gift from the authoress!

Itsuki: Yesssss

Risa: It's for Mutsuki though…

Itsuki: …

Mutsuki: O.O; I actually got SOMETHING while my brother DIDN'T?!?! Wow…is this the end of the world?

Kirie: Who knows…

Risa: You got a pot lid (gives the pot lid to Mutsuki)

Mutsuki: (stares at the pot lid) …..what the hell?

Everyone else: (laughing their ass out on the floor)

Mutsuki: What the hell am I going to do with a POT LID?

Itsuki: It worked in Battle Royale! (laughs more)

Yae: True…but this isn't a survival horror movie

Mutsuki: Why not a gun? A cookie? OR EVEN A BLANKET?!?! Something USEFUL? ANYTHING useful? T-T

KBM: (pops out of nowhere) I like my men to suffer (disappears while dragging Risa and half dead Riku with her)

Everyone: …sadistic psychopath…

Chitose: Hey! She dropped her binder! (picks up KBM's binder)

Miku: O.O IT'S L'ARCENCIEL! (snatches the binder away)

Mafuyu: O.O Hyde! Hotness…

Kirie: They ARE hot…

Sae: Hey! There's a chibified versions of us in the back!

Everyone besides Yae and Ryozo: Awww! I look so cute!

Yae and Ryozo: Why aren't WE on the binder?

Mafuyu: I dunno…'cause you people suck maybe?

Yae: Don't address your great grandparents that way you fool!

Miku: Shut up! It's not like you did anything to deserve our respect you old hag!

Sae: Don't say that to my sister you ungrateful bitch!

Mafuyu: Don't you say that to _my _sister you ungrateful old bitch?

Ryozo: How dare you?! We our your ancestors you gay hobo!

Kirie: Don't be callin' mah man a hobo you fool! (snaps her fingers at Ryozo's face all ghetto-like)

Miku: Yea! Don't say that to my brother! (bitch-slaps Ryozo)

Yae: Have you no MANNERS?! (attacks Miku)

Mafuyu: Imooto-chan! (bashing Yae's head with Mutsuki's pot lid)

Mutsuki: But that's _my_ pot lid…

Itsuki: I'll buy another one for you from ebay aniki…

Mutsuki: You're the best Itsuki

Chitose: Aww…brotherly love…what's incest? O.o;

Itsuki and Mutsuki: …

(the ever-so-happy-now-united family is now fighting in a dust cloud)

Tachibanas and the Amakuras: …

Mayu: I'm hungry…(eating a bark of wood that randomly appeared out of nowhere)

Mio: Onee-chan! That's unhealthy!

Mayu: Shut up! I'm eating! (eating more wood) Mmmm…cheese…

Tachibanas and Mio: o.O;;;;

* * *

KBM: And the second "chapter" ish done!

JL: You call this a chapter? You're gonna get sued!

KBM: At least my lawyer is a good lawyer…

JL: A lawyer who almost became you-(mouth is now duck taped by KBM) O.O

KBM: Not a word dear friend, not a word…muwahahahahahaha! More gifts are welcome! Thankies for those who reviewed! It would've been sad if I haven't gotten ANY reviews but some people actually liked it and reviewed! You people love me! You really love me! Thank you! Thank you very much! First, I'd like to thank God for such honour and-(gets hit by Tennis racquet) Please review… (unconscious) x.X

JL: (drags KBM away) Stupid Blue-berry muffins…I knew I shouldn't have given it to her…(mumble)(grumble)


	3. Do I Have to Make Up Name for Every Ch?

Disclaimer: …read the last 2 chappies please

JL: So lazy…and you call yourself an Asian?

KBM: …screw you pops

JL: Pops? I am not your father! O.O

KBM: Daddy…(latches onto JL)

JL: O.O (attempts to shake KBM off)

KBM: Daddy! Buy me a PSP

JL: Damn you! Let go!

****

Chapter 3: Do I Have to Make Up Name for Every Chapter?

****

Wood Side Apartments Lobby

Itsuki: What now?

Mutsuki: I say we stay here for a while…we have nowhere to go as of now and we do need sleep…

Kirie: I'm rooming with you baby cakes! (latched onto Mafuyu)

Mafuyu: Why me? T-T

(2 ppl pops out of nowhere)

: My head hurts ;.;

: You're such a wimp! Be a man and stop crying damn it!

Chitose: Hey! We got people here with some gift for us again!

Mayu: Already? Dang, that was fast foo

Mio: Fo sho!

Everyone else: …o.O;

: (sniff) My name is Kira and this is my twin sister Cagalli

Mafuyu: Holy shit! You mean to tell me that (points to Cagalli) is a chick and not a dude? What's this world coming to?

Cagalli: If you don't want your ass kicked by a girl, you better know how to shut up mo'fo!

Miku: Why you be all hatin' my bro like that bitch?

Itsuki: Stop talking like you're in Oakland!

Mutsuki: Ahh…Oakland…where all the Black and Chinese people dwells…

Sae: Don't forget hobos -.-;

Yae: (shudders) A pigeon shitted on me one time when I was out eating a parfait in front of Macys

Ryozo: Umm…that's San Francisco dear…

Yae: Really? My bad…

Kira: Umm…anyways, from Insane Sae-

Everyone: (eyes Sae)

Sae: It's not me!

Kira: -Mayu gets painkillers

Mayu: Oh gosh! Thank you! I needed that for my back pain and my spleen!

Mio: Don't you mean your knee?

Mayu: Same shit!

Chitose: No it's not…

Mayu: Oh, did you just hear little Chitose? It's the sound of little Chitose pulling out a painkiller out of her ass if she doesn't shut her mouth. Follow me?

Chitose: (cries) Onii-chan! (runs to Mutsuki and Itsuki)

Mutsuki and Itsuki: (glares at Mayu)

Mayu: What you lookin' at bitches? (throwing pain killer pills at the Tachibanas)

Itsuki: (gets hit) Aw! That fucking hurt ! (gets hit again) Aw! That was my beautiful fragile face! (throws back some pain killer pills back at Mayu)

Everyone else besides the Tachibanas: (ducks and covers)

Chitose: (gets hit in the eyes) Aaaaah! I'm BLIND! I can't see! Itsuki! Mutsuki! HELP ME! (runs around in circles) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs into a wall)

Mutsuki: …(gets hit)(pill bounce back by a magical wall) o.O;

Everyone: O.O; What the…?

Cagalli: Let me guess, you're the author's-

KBM: (pops out of nowhere) Authoress! I'm a woman damn you! (throws a random corn at Cagalli) (disappears)

Cagalli: (unconscious)

Kira: …that's what I get for having a WEAK sister. Who does she think she is? Gigantor? Anyways, I guess you're the authoress' favorite, am I correct?

Mutsuki: Umm…yes…

Kira: well, the authoress protects you by her authoress powers

Mutsuki: You mean to tell me that I ran around in fear of death in this forsaken sad excuse of a haunted town filled with hentai monsters for NOTHING! What the hell!

Itsuki: How could the authoress like my brother who was a measly 1000pt (KBM: was it 1000? I can't remember…o.O;) worth hidden ghost!

Mutsuki: That was touching bro…-.-;

KBM: (pops out of nowhere again) Don't you be sayin' that to my BABY! (kicks Itsuki in the shins) (disappears)

Itsuki: O.O (falls down to the ground)

Mutsuki: I can feel the power! Muwahahaha!

Sae: He finally snapped…

Yae: About bloody time! Speaking of blood, I think I'm leaking

Everyone else: ewwww!

Mafuyu: Too much information!

Kira: Anyways…Miku gets Type 90 Film and Mio gets Type Zero Film

Miku: …But it doesn't work on these hentai monsters tho…

Mio: Oh yea, sure give me the slow ass film! I'll get fucking killed before I even have the chance to use it!

Mafuyu: Hey! At least you got SOMETHING you ungrateful bitch!

Cagalli: (wakes up) Urrrg…my head hurts like a penguin on morphine…

Yae: o.O;

Kira: Mafuyu, you get a…SoraxRiku yaoi? Is it even legal to send porn?

Sae: Appears so

Chitose: Nii-chan? What's porn?

Mutsuki and Itsuki: …(sigh) Don't ask things you won't understand

Chitose: Just try meh!

Mutsuki: Here we go

2 hours later

Chitose: O.O (frozen stiff)

Itsuki: Was that wise?

Mutsuki: It shut her up did it?

Ryozo: To think I called them my best friends…

Mafuyu: Damn bitch monkeys! You people are that old?

Itsuki: Hey, at least we're still sexy unlike some old fart

Ryozo: At least I have families who love me and respect me!

Mutsuki: Your great-grandson just called you an old fart dum dum. That ain't no respect

Miku: I don't love him either…he smells bad

Yae: How dare you say such things to your elders! Didn't your mother teach you any manners?

Miku: …(lip quivers) MOMMY! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (runs to Mafuyu)

Mafuyu: You just had to bring that up!

Cagalli: Err this is getting way off topic…Itsuki!

Itsuki: Hai?

Cagalli: You get a Hajime Saito Replica Katana!

Itsuki: O.O (in British accent) Great Scots! I must say I love you very much dearie!

Everyone: WTF

Kira: Let's see…Yae and Ryozo gets…condoms? I thought this fic was rated T not M

Yae: Least I don't have to have another CHILD!

Kirie: You're dead Einstein! You can't have any kids

Yae: I can always dream

Mio: Dead peeps can't dream

Yae: haters! Why ya'll be dissing me like that?

Everyone: (ignores)

Kira: Kurosawa Twins gets Machetes!

Sae: Oh goody! (skips into mid air)

Mayu: I never want to see that ever again

Mio: (nods)

Yae: I can use this to cut steaks! I can cook some wonderfully delicious dinner to please my family with this! Yay!

Sae: I can use this to kill people! I can hack people up into bloody pieces without the Kusabi with this! Yay!

Ryozo: I still cannot believe that they're related?

Kirie: Oh really? What about them?

Miku: (reading The War and Peace)

Mafuyu: (reading SoraxRiku doujinshi)

Mutsuki: (watering a random flower garden)

Itsuki: (staring at his sword) Shiny

Chitose: (sleeping on the middle of the hallway)

Mio: (singing)

Mayu: (scratching her ass)

Ryozo: Holy Cow on SHARPIES! Is Mayu scratching her humungous ass?

Kirie: -.-

Kira and Cagalli: Last and not least, the Tachibana Twins get a BIG ass bottle of SAKE!

Mutsuki and Itsuki: O.O (stops whatever they were doing) (hug each other) BANZAI!

Chitose: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (hides in a corner)

Sae: insert her evil laugh

Cagalli: We still have more! From Evil Cassidy, everyone gets a Portable CD player with Fatal Frame 2 soundtrack, Chou, on it!

Everyone: YAY!

Kira: Too bad it doesn't come with any batteries! AHAHAHHA

Everyone: …what?

Cagalli: My idiot twin's right you know! No batteries!

Kira: Who you callin' an idiot? At least I'm not a stupid blonde bitch!

Cagalli: Shut up! Respect your older sister!

Kira: Older sister? Nobody knows who's older than the other you moron! And I should be the one who's older! Father loved me more anyways!

Cagalli: At least I'm not fat like you!

Kira: Hey! I resent that! And I'm not the one who flashes at the enemy!

Cagalli: At least we're engaged now!

Kira: Who happens to be my BEST FRIEND!

Cagalli: At least I didn't steal my best friend's fiancée you heartless bitch!

Kira: It's better than screwing with a female version of your best friend-oh shit! Is Athrun gay! O.O

Cagalli: O.O

Fatal Frame Peeps: (eating pop corns that popped out of nowhere. Get it? Popped out of nowhere? Pop corn that popped out of nowhere? …never mind)

Kirie: Err, let's just dig into the bag of gifts ourselves

Mafuyu: True…I think it'll take a while for them to get over whatever they were talking about

Miku: Let's see…from Kango…Chitose you got something!

Chitose: Yay! I actually got something specifically for me!

Miku: You got a pencil

Chitose: …oh well, at least I can draw on the wall with it! (draws on the wall) This is fun!

Pencil: (breaks)

Chitose: …

Miku: Binoculars for…me? Hey, that's actually useful! I can see if a monster is coming for us a mile away! (happy as a little girl on crack)

Ryozo: But there are fogs all over the place, you can barely see your own hand, how the hell can you see a monster a mile away?

Miku: Damn it! There goes by giddy moodie woodie…

Mutsuki: Hey bro! You got a credit card!

Itsuki: Cool! I can buy stuff on this…deserted…lifeless…rotting town…just great!

Chitose: It expired 5 years ago anyway

Itsuki: Maybe I can eat it?

Yae: Damn, you're stooping that low?

Itsuki: Shut up! I'm desperate okay? If only there was a dog near by…I could make my famous Inu Soup

Mayu: Yummm

Mio: Ewww! (throws up but accidentally throws up on poor Chitose)

Chitose: O.O NOOOOOOO! Why me! (cries)

Kirie: Mafuyu dear You got a sock!

Mafuyu: Not socks but a sock? What am I gonna do we a sock?

Ryozo: I dunno put it over your head or something? Ahahaha

Mafuyu: If only this was a nylon!

Ryozo: OMGWTFBBQ! You took me seriously! O.o;;

Kira: Okay, we're okay now Sorry to keep you waiting!

Cagalli: (rocking back and forth) think happy thoughts…think happy thoughts…happy bunny! In Marshmallow Land! Weee! They're skipping on patches of flowers with happy little butterflies…weeeeeee….weeeeee…weeeee…

Sae: She's even crazier than I am…and that's saying something…-.-;

Yae: The poor child

Mio: You sure she's okay?

Kira: Probably

Mayu: Probably!

Kira: Anyways, from White Mage 12, Sae gets a submachine gun!

Sae: Jackpot! All these weapons! All I need is some grenades and nuclear weapons, made in North Korea of course! Heheheheheheheheheh!

Mutsuki: oh shit, nobody better not send her those…

Cagalli: (somewhat stable) Itsuki…weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…you get a pair of weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Itsuki: A pair of what? Hopefully it's a pair of sneakers! I've been walking barefoot ever since we got here!

Kira: No…it's a pair of high heels

Everyone else except Itsuki: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAA!

Itsuki: WHAT THE HELL! Do you people think I SWING THAT WAY! FUCK NO! If I were gay, I'd be doing this! (kisses Mutsuki) But did I do that? NO I DIN'N-wait a sec, what the hell did I just do? O.O

Everyone: O.O

Mutsuki: O.O (hair turned completely white)

Chitose: (twitching on the floor)

Mafuyu: (drools)

Miku: The hell's wrong with you! (slaps Mafuyu silly)

****

Good 48 Hours Later

Itsuki: (Holding up his Hajime Saito replica) That NEVER happened (glares at everyone)

Everyone: (nods) O.O

Mutsuki: (weeping on the ground) Why! Why must I suffer so? And my sexy jet-black hair turned fucking white! NO! I look like a fucking old man now!

Itsuki: …you look like me now…

Mutsuki: …WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (sobs)

Chitose: Poor onii-chan!

Kirie: You just confessed you looked like an old man Itsuki

Itsuki: Does Itsuki have to choke a bitch today?

Sae: You mean like how you killed him (points to Mutsuki) and how she (points to Mio) killed her? (points to Mayu)

Mutsuki, Mio and Mayu: (crying a river)

Mafuyu: Awww poor baby! Do you want Mafuyu onii-chan to comfort you?

Mutsuki: FUCK NO!

Mafuyu: Awww! I could have help you _feel_ better

Everyone else: O.O

Cagalli: Err…anyways…we have two gifts to Itsuki from Eleena-chan! And it's…holy shit…

Kira: What is it? (looks) …(tosses the entire bag to Itsuki)

Itsuki: Hmm? (looks) …WHAT THE HELL! Shackles and Chains for bondage purposes!

Mafuyu: (gets major nose bleed)

Yae: Oh my…

Ryozo: If you don't want it, I'll take it! I can use it to good use (looks at Yae)

Kirie: Hey! I want it too! (looks at Mafuyu)

Ryozo: Oh really? Come and get it bitch!

Kirie: (attacks Ryozo)

Yae: Do it for the children dear!

Miku: WHAT! What could your sexual pleasures benefit us!

Mafuyu: Me not having to screw Kirie! WIN GRAMPS!

Itsuki: I never said Imma share these

Mio: Where the hell were you thinking of doing with it?

Mayu: It better not involve your brother, it's disgusting!

Itsuki: Well, I was thinking of melting it and making an iron statue of a toenail

Sae: OMGWTFBBQ?

Kira: Err…from SyberiaWinx, Sae gets a Gameboy Advance!

Sae: I always wanted that! …there's no game with it! Only the Gameboy!

Miku: I doubt there's any batter in there either…(throws her CD player at Ryozo) (mumbles) Perverted old man…

Cagalli: Mayu get a Super Soaker!

Mayu: What am I gonna do with a water gun when there's no water and it's freezing COLD here?

Mio: You can always throw it at people!

Kira: And everyone gets whole case of Serge! Which is filled with sugar!

Chitose: Yay! I was really thirsty! (chugs)

Everyone: (chugs)

****

About an hour later

Everyone: (on sugar high) (acts like they're high on peyote)

Miku: (doing the "worm" dance)

Mio and Mayu: (singing the Sailormoon theme song in Czechoslovakian)

Sae: (laughing like chaotic self) (skipping on patches of dead flowers)

Kira: Err…from girlygrrl, Mafuyu gets…a collection of guy porn pics! WTF

Mafuyu: Weeeeeee! Purdy pictures! Weeeeee! OoOooO! Incest! YAY! (obviously out of it)

Chitose: (scratching her ass while acting like a monkey)

Cagalli: Umm…(looks away from Chitose) Itsuki, you get a Barbie doll wearing lingerie? O.o;

Itsuki: (takes the doll)

Barbie: You're pretty!

Itsuki: Really? Tee hee! You're really nice!

Barbie: You're my bestest friend!

Itsuki: You're making me blush! (smiles)

Barbie: You're nice!

Itsuki: (giggles like a retarded school girl on crack)

Kira and Cagalli: O.O (backs away)

Kira: Is that all! Can we LEAVE! (desperate to get away)

Cagalli: Only one batch and it's over! Eheheh…(nervous rather than relieved)

Kira: Okay…(calms himself) from freya-dark-chi, Itsuki gets a satin, red heart pillow with frilly white lace and...a strawberry flavored condom! THIS ISN'T RATED M FOR MATURE YOU KNOW!

Itsuki: YAY! A pillow! What's this? (eyes the condom and sniffs it) Smells nice (has a stupid look on his face)

Kirie: (somehow has her hair in 10 ponytails) (sings I'm A Little Tea Pot)

Yae and Ryozo: (going all Titanic on the stairs...you know that scene on the cover of the VHS/DVD? The one some stupid ass actually tried and fell off the ship and died somewhere? Yea…that one)

Cagalli: And freya-dark-chi's friend gives Mutsuki a…a…(hair turned white)

Kira: What is it?

Cagalli: A size small pink thong bikini…

Kira: O.O;

Mutsuki: YAY! New underwear! (puts it on without complaining since he's not himself…like the rest of them) I feel pretty!

Itsuki: Yay! Onii-chan's pretty!

Chitose: Yay!

Barbie: You're pretty!

Tachibana Family: (Dances in a circle) (giggles like crazy)

Cagalli: OMG…he actually looks good in it…

Kira: (cries) I WANT MY MOMMY!

Cagalli: Our mom's dead dumb ass!

Kira: I WANT MY ADOPTED MOTHER! AAAAAAAHH! ATHRUN HELP ME!

Cagalli: What're you calling out for my boyfriend for! You're supposed to call out for your girl friend you two-timing jerk!

Kira: (points to bags) There's more!

Cagalli: Great…From Chitose Tachibana-

Chitose: Did someone call me? O.o;

Cagalli: -Miku gets Sora+Riku stuff

Miku: YAY! Me like Kingdom Hearts! DAMN YOU SUARE ENIX! Weee!

Kira: …Mafuyu gets a tutu!

Mafuyu: Yay! A pretty little dress! (changes into the tutu) (twirls like a princess)

Kira: And (blushes) breast implants for Yae…

Yae: O.O I've wanted that for like ever! (gets bigger boobs meaning a B cup since her boobs were hella flat like Miku's boobs)

Mio: AHAHAHAHA! You look normal now!

Mayu: AHAHAHAHA! What are we laughing about?

Kira: Ryozo gets a car?

Ryozo: (too busy looking at Yae's boobs) (drools)

Cagalli: …ewww…

Kira: Can he even drive?

Cagalli: Err…I don't think so. I think he died before he got the chance to get a license

Kira: Oh well. Mutsuki and Itsuki both gets Hajime Saito replicas

Itsuki: O.O MUWAHAHAHAHA! (now has 2 swords) I AM INVINCIBLE! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME YOU BITCHES! AHAHAHAHA!

Barbie: You're so brave!

Mutsuki: (stares at his new sword) (pokes Kirie's butt)

Kirie: OW!

Mutsuki: (giggles like a school girl)

Cagalli: Mayu and Mio gets matching black and silver kimonos

Mayu: I look so pretty!

Mio: Yay! Let's dance!

Mio and Mayu: (dances)

Kira: Kirie gets a love potion!

Kirie: (stares at Mafuyu) eheheeheh….muwahahahahahahahaa

Cagalli: (sweat drops) Sae gets a camera! And by camera, the one that doesn't hurt you when you take pictures camera for dead people!

Sae: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (takes pictures of everyone)

Kira: And Cihtose gets a puppy!

Chitose: YAY! A puppy!

Kira: WE CAN GO HOME NOW!

Cagalli: And never come back!

Kira and Cagalli: (cries tear of pure joy) (disappears)

****

Good few more hours later

Everyone: (gets to their senses) What happened? O.o;

Mutsuki: WHY THE HELL AM I IN A BIKINI!

Itsuki: Aniki…you actually look good in it…O.O

Miku: I…have to agree on that…

Mafuyu: (drools)

Mutsuki: Stop looking at me you pervert -.-

Sae: Lemme dress you up in pretty dresses when we get back! (smiles)

Mutsuki: (tries to take off his pink bikini) O.O IT WON'T COME OFF!

Kirie: Maybe you're fat?

Chitose: He's not fat! He can fit into my clothes

Kirie: Then you're fat

Chitose: (sniff)

Ryozo: Why was he in Chitose's clothes in the first place?

Mutsuki: Err…

Mafuyu: I know how you feel! I used to wear Miku's clothes all the time!

Miku: YOU WHAT! SO THAT'S WHY ALL MY SKIRTS WERE RIPPED!

Mio: Don't you think we should get some shut eye or something? We can't stay at this dirty old lobby all the time you know

Kirie: There are lot of rooms though I'm not sure if they're all even open…

KBM: (pops out of nowhere) hiya! (looks at Mutsuki)(drools)

Mutsuki: -.-;

Chitose: You're here again

KBM: Got a problem biatch? (clearly PMSing)

Chitose: Err…no…

KBM: Good! Listen up maggots! I got the keys to the rooms since all the rooms in this apartments are closed off due to Konami being a bitch about renting this town again. So! You're all staying at the Blue Creek Apartments next door!

Ryozo: Okay, let's leave this dump then (about to leave through the door)

KBM: Hold it old fart!

Ryozo: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

KBM: (throws a random baseball at Ryozo's you-know-where)

Ryozo: O.O (twitching on the ground with pain)

Yae: Honey Cakes! (kneel next to Ryozo)

Miku: Geesh, it's not like he got shot in the chest of anything…hmmm…gives me an idea…

KBM: I don't got no key to the apartment you ya'll have to jump from the fire escape on the second floor

Everyone else besides Ryozo on the ground: WHAT!

KBM: Up you go!

****

Second Floor Hallway

KBM: Okay, here's the fire escape (kicks it open) you people jump to the next building and you'll be safe unless the Pyramid Head's there

Mayu: The wha?

Sae: (skips like a school girl) Great joy! I love Pyramid Head!

KBM: Here are the keys (gives them to Kirie) there's only 5 rooms open so figure out your own rooms.

Everyone: (silent)

KBM: Well? Hop on to it! (kicks Mafuyu through the fire escape)

Mafuyu: WHY ME? (crashes into the wall of the room in Blue Creek Apartments)

KBM: Who else wanna get kicked?

Everyone: O.O

KBM: Good. I'm off to Arizona, bye! If I dun come back, think that I died or something

Everyone: Okay…

****

Rooms:

Mio and Mayu: 105

Sae and Kirie: 203

Itsuki and Mutsuki and Chitose: 208

Ryozo and Mafuyu: 209

Yae and Miku: 109

****

Room 203

Sae: Why are WE in this crappy room with the fire escape?

Kirie: (mimics Miku's voice) "Because if anything smart enough to come through the fire escape, it'll get us first and we'll be able to fight it off" Bastards

Sae: Oh great joy! And they call themselves MEN? Damn! The toilet's clogged!

Kirie: I wonder what my Mafuyu-fuyu's doing?

Sae: Mafuyu-fuyu?

****

Room 105

Mio: At least it's cleaner than that dump Sae has for a room

Mayu: O.O The lobby…

Mio: Yea?

Mayu: It's locked…

Mio: Well duh! That's why we risked our youthful lives jumping the frigging fire escape for some crappy room to sleep in

Mayu: O.O We can't get out…there's no way out…

Mio: We can always go out the way we came in dum dum! Go to sleep already

Mayu: …I have a bad feeling…and I need to take a dump…

****

Room 209

Ryozo: Yae! (bangs on the ground)

****

Room 109

Yae: Ryozo! (bangs on the ceiling)

Room 209

Ryozo: Yae! (bangs on the ground)

****

Room 109

Yae: Ryozo! (bangs on the ceiling)

Room 209

Ryozo: Yae! (bangs on the ground)

****

Room 109

Yae: Ryozo! (bangs on the ceiling)

Room 209

Ryozo: Yae! (bangs on the ground)

****

Room 109

Yae: Ryozo! (bangs on the ceiling)

Room 209

Ryozo: Yae! (bangs on the ground)

****

Room 109

Yae: Ryozo! (bangs on the ceiling)

Room 209

Ryozo: Yae! (bangs on the ground)

****

Room 109

Yae: Ryozo! (bangs on the ceiling)

Miku: (twitch) SHUT UP ALREADY! (covers her mouth with her red scarf while using Yae's obi to tie her arms and legs since it's hella fucking long)

Yae!!!

Miku: And after all that time I got teased dressing up like a North Korean, this shit (points to red scarf) finally paid off! AHAHAHAHAH!

****

Room 209

Ryozo: Yae! (bangs on the ground) …Yae? YAE! NOOO! DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN DEAR SUGAR LUMPS!

Mutsuki: (comings through the balcony which were connected to his room) (grabs a random chair and hits Ryozo's head)

Ryozo: x.x

Mutsuki: FINALLY!

Mafuyu: (stares at Mutsuki)

Mutsuki: What?

Mafuyu: (licks his lips and the sugar's still in his system)

Mutsuki: Oh shit! ( runs back to his room)

****

Room 208

Mutsuki: (locks the balcony doors) O.O

Itsuki: About that that fool shut his mouth

Chitose: Why were you two best friends with him again?

Itsuki and Mutsuki: He was loaded! Duh!

Itsuki: Why else would we hang around the lovesick puppy?

Mutsuki: Tell me about it

Twins: (high fives each other)

Chitose: …

****

Room 203

Sae: (looking all the pictures she took during the sugar rush) Eheheh…think of all the possibilities…

KBM: Well that took hella long…

JL: Indeed. To top it all off, everyone's OOC

KBM: So? That's what's fun about it!

JL: It won't update in a LONG time…

KBM: Yup! Too busy with summer homework (damn advanced classes! Hisss) And Mission trip to Arizona

JL: Smuggle some peyote for us

KBM: Fuck no! I ain't to druggie! (smokes pot)

JL: …I can get you arrested for that

KBM: …errr….(runs away)


End file.
